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59.	[tulajdonos]: ZAZ	2014-04-06 15:57
Some build immense stone buildings , gigantic streets, walling up their never to be wives, constructing comlex worlds of vast fantasy, casting it too, nonchalantly in a corner, in the middle of a long description; some devour ranks insatiable eating themselves up into the endless skies, some simply start fight after fight, forget themselves in warring and the strategy of destruction on a grand scale or even better in minutiae tasks demanding minutiae portioning of attention, the pettier the better; to make up for that moment of self-abandonment, that moment of infinity ever waited for, having been born for, that moment lost. And the undergrowth, so gross, subconscious you say? For there are never just those people involved like in those rotten romantic comedies I hate from the bottom of my heart, and when there is just one more person, and there always is, and not just one, but dozens of them, so when the two people are not alone, there is always min one who suffers, more people means struggle and pain and blood and dark, dark, dark recesses of the heart whatever way it turns out to be. Blessed are the blind who cannot see, who think simply as they can only remain pure. But being a seer means eternal deprivation of returned love.Or damnation and cruelty. So there is a choice always.To be loved back is a miracle that rarely happens, I have read that 90% of love ever felt is unrequited, so it is a miracle that makes one speechless, that makes the whole world totally different, a deep silence so deep like looking into a well and glimpse into the heart of the universe and there is no blood and no struggle, rough seas are pacified and you are so full of gratitude and that peace that you are unable to be bad, there is a deep desire to make everybody as happy as they can be, to be good, to help, to sacrifice yourself, anything really because you have reached the most, what you were born for. So of course there is no next day to it. Just the loss. And the knowledge of it. Which can still make miracles. Because you have seen it. You are now a seer. (2013. febr)

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